My Baby Is One Of Those … He Has A Lot Of Temper!

We don’t really know where babies get their genius from. With little more than 10 months, some, point out challenging behaviors, scratch us, hit us and always seem frustrated. Despite the fact that many mothers and fathers despair at these behaviors, something must be made clear: they are normal stages that you have to know how to manage.

During pregnancy it is very common for us to dream about what our child will be like. We imagine a calm baby who sleeps his hours without interruption, who cries the least, who attends us with smiles and who eagerly gobbles up everything we feed him.

Now,  after his birth and a few months later we discover that our child points out ways. Many families look for some genetic justification with phrases like “he has as much genius as his father, he has the bad sleep of his grandfather, or he gets almost as angry as the grandmother”.

It is not the right thing to do. Each child has, believe it or not, his own temperament that you have to know how to understand, manage and channel during the first months. Far from despairing, you have to feed yourself with ingenuity, patience and love and understand that your baby has a genius but also a great potential that you must discover.

Next, in “You are Mom” we explain how to identify the hyper-demanding baby and how to work with him.

Traits that can define a baby’s personality

The personality of people is a construct as complex as it is dynamic. There is a biological basis (sometimes, depending on the activity of our neurotransmitters, we will develop a certain extroversion or a more relaxed or introverted character). There is undoubtedly the environmental factor, the educational factor and that of our own experience.

Now, when we talk about babies, things become more basic. An 8 or 10 month old baby has not yet interacted with the world, we are still educating it and it has only looked out into the world. So where does genius come from? Of that unique and particular brain that has a very special way of relating to what surrounds it. Genius kids are generally hyper demanding.

Let’s see now what clues we can attend to to understand if our child is hyper-demanding or not.

Activity

There are incredibly active babies. They look at everything, touch it, sometimes even react with anger trying to break or simply hitting.

On the other hand, there are those who, even being curious, have a calmer, more relaxed level of activity.

Regularity

To see if our baby is hyper demanding, pay attention to his habits. Sometimes, even following the same routines, it is impossible for you to get him to take a nap. They wake up a lot at night, you have a hard time getting them to eat and, generally, children are also the most complicated when it comes to removing their diapers.

Babies who do not adapt to changes

Sometimes you end up assuming that it is impossible to leave the house with your baby. When you go on a hike, shopping or visiting, the baby gets desperate and never stops crying. He does not accept changes and reacts even aggressively.

Intensity of your emotions

For a hyper demanding baby there are no middle ground. They cry with intensity or laugh at pleasure, their emotions overflow and sometimes, they even go from one state to another in a few seconds. All of this undoubtedly reveals to us how complicated it is for them to manage their emotional world.

How to treat my baby if he has a lot of temper

Genius babies tend to show a higher peak of emotional intensity when they are 10 or 12 months old. It is when they open up to the world with greater security and their curiosity increases exponentially. If they don’t get something, they get frustrated. If you don’t catch them when they want to, they scream. If you deny them something, they will pull your hair.

To manage these behaviors it is necessary that we reflect and apply these strategies:

We will never yell or lose our cool

• What a hyper-demanding child wants is first of all attention. Understand that this is not a personality problem, and that generally, this high level of anxiety, crying, frustrations and bad nights ends up passing over time. Now, you have to act wisely and with great affection.

• A quick-tempered, yelling and hitting child should never be treated with more yelling or more nervousness. What we do is make the situation even worse. Act calmly, closely and forcefully, pointing out that you should never hit or break things. 

• Babies understand much more than we think, so a “NO” in time and a correct indication of inappropriate behavior at all times will gradually make them assume it.

Let’s channel their energy through stimuli or games

• Also understand that strategies like inattention or letting them cry when they are frustrated is never helpful.

• Children with a lot of genius tend to demand a lot from us as mothers. It is necessary to know how to understand what they want in each moment, control their anger and channel their energy in different ways. They are generally very curious children, so try to give them continuous stimulation and learning opportunities.

This type of aggressive behavior usually disappears with time as long as we know how to act against them. If a child knows that he is being cared for and loved at all times, he will be more receptive to our instructions. They must understand that behaviors based on hitting or breaking things are not helpful. Offer them new channels to appease all their energy: visual and interactive games, outdoor activities …