I Love You Since I Thought Of You, Since Before You Existed

I love you long before you existed, my child. They say that becoming a mother changes everything, however, for me more than change is growth, it is expansion and a blind date with someone I will adore forever.

We are sure that at some point in your life cycle, before perhaps you decided to be a mother or even during your pregnancy, you came to think this very thing: how can I love someone I don’t even know so much? It is an intense love, an affection that nurtures us and that is at the same time little more than a subtle but fascinating mystery.

Neurologists tell us that it is enough to “map” the maternal brain to understand all those emotional mechanisms that generate many of our behaviors. Hormones and our neurotransmitters shape a frantic dance where, for example, we ensure that we are always alert or even obsessively check that our baby is still “breathing”.

We can understand all this because the delivery itself and our oxytocin levels predispose us to it. However… what happens in our brain before the baby is born? What fuels that intense, bubbly, and colorful love for a little person we don’t even know?

In “You are Mom” we want to talk to you about it.

I want to be a mother, it’s my time

There are those who had not even considered it. There are those who from one day to the next find themselves with a delay and an unexpected “positive” in the pregnancy test. Sometimes, and we all know it, the best things come by chance and without us having them planned in our agenda of vital goals.

• However, other women decide at a certain point in their life that it is the ideal time.
• To economic stability is added the emotional and the simple, plain and wonderful desire to be a mother, whether with a partner or without the need for it.

As we already know, a lot has been written about what is called “maternal instinct” and if there is something that psychologists, doctors and maternity specialists agree on, it is that there is no such thing, not “at least” as many conceive it.

Mom’s brain during pregnancy

As we already know , a lot has been said and written about how mothers’ brains change once they give birth. These changes are very striking throughout the first 6 months, coinciding especially with that period where breastfeeding is more intense and the needs of the newborn are constant.

However … what if we told you that your brain already experiences certain variations during the first trimester?

• A study published in the journal “Nature Neuroscience” revealed that this hormonal storm we were talking about at the beginning begins to develop early as soon as the mother becomes pregnant.
• What happens is undoubtedly very striking: certain changes begin to originate in the prefrontal and temporal cortex, as well as in the anterior and posterior cortical midline.
• Also, the gray matter in the brain is slightly reduced.
• This by no means means that we lose cognitive abilities.

I dream of you, I think of you, I draw you in my mind and I want you to give you the best of me

We could say, therefore and without mistake, that throughout pregnancy our brain already predisposes us for parenting. It does so by slightly varying that intimate interior architecture where we fine-tune our limbic system, where we orchestrate the emotional and reflective world by focusing on the baby, dreaming and loving him long before holding him.

Also, the fact that the gray matter is slightly reduced does not mean that we will have problems thinking logically or using heuristics. Absolutely…

Our brain prepares to promote a secure attachment

• What scientists have shown is that this “small” reduction in gray matter experienced in pregnancy later favors a better bond of attachment between mother and child. 
• On the other hand, it should also be said that it is common to also notice greater sensitivity, to be more receptive to the emotional world of others and to experience a certain introspection as well, a certain recollection with ourselves to project, to think, to dream, to wander, to imagine what our own will be like. small and if we will be prepared for that new stage.

In conclusion, something as wonderful as it is to love that child more and more that we have not yet held in our arms is something normal and, in turn, desirable. It is a process that will prepare us to give that little one unconditional love, care and exceptional security where everything will go well. Your happiness is assured.