7 Keys To Promote Assertive Communication In The Family
The word has the power to build or break relationships, to heal or to hurt, this is the truth. Promoting assertive communication is a great strategy for building strong and healthy relationships. With this way of expressing ourselves, we foster empathy and respect, two key values for healthy relationships.
Having assertive communication between parents and children is essential to create strong and healthy bonds between the two. This way of expressing ourselves will make it easier for us to interact with emotional intelligence.
Have you ever stopped to think about how you communicate with your children? Do you think you could change something to have healthier family relationships? Here we tell you what assertive communication is and how to apply it to improve family life.
What do we mean when we talk about assertive communication?
Assertive communication allows us to express feelings, ideas, emotions and needs in a calm, true, direct and safe way. Likewise, it allows us to be respectful and empathetic with others and with ourselves.
If we analyze the more traditional way of communication between parents and children, we can realize that a language based on instructions, orders and imperatives is used. Fortunately, this way of communicating is undergoing changes.
We parents have realized that through authoritarian language we harm our children, which affects their self-esteem and the development of some of their abilities. Nor is it convenient to go to the opposite side, where everything is allowed and we are passive and permissive parents because, in this way, we are also harming our children.
What are the key concepts in assertive communication?
Like everything in this life, it is learned through practice, so this way of communicating is possible when we are aware of how useful and beneficial it is for our family and we put it into practice frequently. Thus, some of the concepts involved in assertive communication are the following:
- Emotional Intelligence .
- Acceptance.
- Confidence in others and in oneself.
- Empathy .
- I respect.
- Autonomy .
- Freedom to choose.
- Avoid directing anyone.
- Active listening .
How can we put assertive communication into practice?
To put this type of communication into practice, it is important that we take these steps into account and follow them:
- We will describe the facts without judgment.
- We will express the feelings or emotions that we feel at that moment.
- We will express the needs that are not being met.
- We will ask for things in a clear and concrete way.
How should we act in this type of communication?
We are going to see some ideas to teach and put into practice assertive communication in the family. To do this, we will ask the children for their participation and we will set the relevant limits.
Anticipate
We must explain to our little ones early the activities or plans that affect them or in which they are involved.
Give them valid options
We can offer them alternative solutions in those aspects that concern them directly, such as food or clothing. It is important that we do a preselection; If we give them too many options, we can confuse them.
Accentuate what they can do
Most of the time we emphasize “you can’t do this, you can’t do this”. The best thing is to focus on what they can do.
We will inform of the limits established in advance
We will establish what the limits are and the consequences that there will be for certain inappropriate behaviors.
We will avoid generalizing and putting labels
Both things are usually exaggerated and also false, and take us away from the reality of the situation and the child.
Naming the emotions we feel
It is important to say how we feel, name the emotions, and identify the sensations they produce. Between parents and children we can share these emotions that will help us to know each other better and promote the development of emotional intelligence.
Express clearly what the child is asking for
We will do this using concrete, short and clear sentences.
Regarding assertive communication
When we use assertive communication with our children we are helping to encourage collaboration and responsibility of the children. This non-authoritarian and non-directive language helps each of us to commit to others.
If we use this assertive way of communicating from a young age, we will be helping children to have a motivation to seek solutions independently and all this learning will be of great help to them in the long term.
The bonds are also reinforced through this communication, since mutual respect is fostered and it helps us to put ourselves in the place of others, that is, empathy is promoted.
